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World War II
World War II, also known as "The War America Won When No One Else Could", was a giant war won by America... and ONLY America. Unlike most sequels, World War II is commonly recognized as having been way more awesome than World War I, kind of like how Empire Strikes Back is better than A New Hope, but not quite as good as World War III (AKA Return Of The Colbert... coming soon). According to Call of Duty 3, filthy Nazis ran roughshod over Europe, beating them up at recess and taking their lunch money. Hitler was the Darth Vader of his time, siring only one child, and that child would then give birth to Stephen Colbert (AKA Ted Hitler), who would then rise up to destroy his grandfather, just like Luke Skywalker. With London nearing surrender like the pussies they are (they were only bombed, for God's sake, it happens in Iraq all the time and things are going swimmingly there), and France actually pre-surrendering before Nazi's even crossed their borders, it was up to America to come in and save the day, as always, with their massive guns, tanks and penises. Led by a fully erect Captain America, Nick Fury & The Howling Commandos, and Stephen Colbert (Captain America's future replacement), Allied forces stormed Hitler's Death Star, flying through the superstructure and knocking out the reactor, leading to a chain reaction that destroyed their ultimate weapon. The ultimate victory by America led to a great feeling of resentment among European nations, who felt (rightly) de-balled by our greatness and the enormous size of our penises. Since that time, all of Europe, especially the French, have been snooty when dealing with Americans. It was not until the war on terror began that the Brits actually grew their balls back, supporting the greatest president ever on his global campaign to find and kill the terrorists, wherever they may be (offer not valid in Pakistan). Other Countries Involvement The United Kingdom helped a little, mainly by acting as a target for all those Nazi bombs. France was a pansy and surrendered right away. Soviet Russia bombed the enemy a little bit, but in Soviet Russia, enemy bombs you!!! So that didn't really help all that much. Haters Germany, Japan, and Italy formed the Axis of Evil during World War II because they were all ruled by Nazis. They all lost, possibly due to their tiny penises, which are far smaller than American penises. Japan got nucular weapons dropped on it and two of its cities, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, got blown up. Then it surrendered to America... what was left of it, anyway. Key Battles Among the key battles of World War II were: * the Battle of the Bulge (a titanic clash over the vital issue of muffin tops) * Operation Torch (in which America set Vichy France's pants on fire) * the Battle of Stalingrad (attended by Stalin himself in person) Battle of Midway (where the japanese got their asses handed to them by America because of Pearl Harbor.) * D-Day (where America and her allies graded the Germans on their performance and ultimately awarded them a "D" letter grade right before invading their territory), and * Z-Day (on which America invaded Japan and got their butts kicked; this battle never actually happened, now remembered in place of 9/11 on February 30th ). Conclusion The war lasted for roughly 6 years, but only 4 years counted as nobody cares what happened before America joined. After the war, the Cold War ensued, and hot cocoa and oatmeal was had by all. Mmmmm. Cold War is delicious.